Previous England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted multiple English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast a fortnight after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the present time," he stated.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his current health, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Perhaps that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters differently, and once I have the facts, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some lack of strength in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the issue, a set of scans showed nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been affected by MND.
"You're presented with this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately extremely emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't feel sick
"My symptoms are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I remain competent to doing anything and everything. And with luck that will continue for as long as is attainable."
Illness Advancement
MND can progress quickly.
According to the charity MND Association, the condition claims a third of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of identification, as ingestion and breathing become harder.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an moved Moody.
"It's the sorrow around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the consequences that has for her."
Family Effect
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overcome with feeling when he mentioned telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "That represented the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was pretty devastating," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and started licking the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody stated the focus was staying in the present.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just welcoming and savoring all aspects now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly blessed that the primary decision I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much time with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those years back."
Player Association
Elite sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the condition is up to sixfold elevated than in the broader public.
It is thought that by restricting the air accessible and producing damage to nerve cells, frequent, intense physical activity can activate the illness in those already predisposed.
Athletic Professional Life
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless approach to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once initiated a workout altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a tackle pad and commenced participating in physical contacts.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the set piece in the decisive passage of play, setting a base for scrum-half Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a couple of other former colleagues about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There will be a moment when we'll need to depend on their support but, at the minute, just having that kind of love and recognition that people are there is all that matters," he commented.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it ended now, I've enjoyed all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you have the opportunity to label your love your profession, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the teams that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will desire to support in any way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
